Today, I woke up feeling defeated. It seems like no matter how hard I try, I cannot conquer my demons. It’s like the harder I try, the harder they hit back. I just feel exhausted and I have pretty much given up at this time. I feel like I am drowning and I am tired of fighting the tide. I know it will feel better when I just succumb to the current, let it take me down. It will be painful but I will find peace when I stop struggling and just go with it. Since I can’t drown my demons, I should drown. That’s how exhausted I am of fighting. I can’t take it anymore.
Why can’t I just lead a quiet normal life for once? I don’t ask for much. Just some peace and tranquility is all I need. Why can’t I have that? Why must I always struggle with invisible demons? And why doesn’t anyone help me? They see me drowning but do not extend a hand. Maybe I deserve to drown. Who knows? Anyway, that’s how bad it is today. Silver lining, and apparently there is one in this hell hole I am in, its Friday today. Meaning no work tomorrow. I can stay in and not get out of bed. Drown my sorrows in my pillow for a change. Some silver lining that is.