It has been a while since I updated you on my online dating escapades. And man, has it been interesting and really weird. So, there I am drooling over wonderful pictures of hot boys, minding my own business when someone decides to send me a message. I am no longer excited when I see the message notification because you never know what to expect. So, I calmly went to check my inbox and lo and behold, I am disappointed. This guy sends me a message saying hi, blah blah blah.
What gets to me is not the message but his profile picture. Its him in white briefs with a half erection. Like why? Why would anyone in their right mind have that as a profile picture? I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. It was just plain sad. And because I am a curious being, I asked him why the hell he has that as his profile picture.
I never did expect it but this was his answer;
“I just want to feel sexy and I am hoping someone here finds this sexy too. I just want to be appreciated in my own skin you know. So, you like?”
I just died. I just couldn’t. First of all, you are a grown-assed man, with a fully functioning brain (well, I assumed it was a fully functioning brain) and you use a half erect penis in white briefs as your profile pic because you want to feel sexy AND hope girls find it sexy too? Boy please! Take a seat somewhere and rethink your life.
This picture was FAR from sexy. It was DISTURBING!! And I am being nice. I asked him how females have responded to his picture, if he has had any success. Again, he killed me. I died twice in the space of five minutes. And then I felt sorry for him. This was his response;
“Girls usually just laugh at me and do not stay and chat. It really is hurtful because all I want to do is feel sexy you know.”
If girls have been laughing at you, why in the world do you still have that picture then? And call me crazy, but I actually continued the conversation with him. I told him he wouldn’t get any girls to like that picture because not only was it NOT sexy, it was disturbing and very very awkward. So I told him to take a better picture when he was not erect and see how that looked.
And he asked me to vet the pictures for him. Because I have nothing better to do with my time than sift through a bunch of pictures of a half naked dude posing in his briefs to show case his package. I politely declined and told him to move on. And also to change that profile picture because he is not getting anyone to like him with what I saw. All he did was traumatize the living day lights out of me.
Below is a picture of a man looking sexy in briefs! I wouldn’t mind being bombarded with pictures like these (Inserts blush here and covers self). If only that online guy could take a picture like this, he would see the light at the end of the tunnel.
(Image: Courtesy of Jim Jordan photography)