Operation ShutDown

shut downSo, I decided to pull the plug on online dating. Not because I met my soul mate but because I realized a few things;

  1. I created all those profiles out of sheer boredom. It was during winter, a time I choose to hibernate (especially with this last polar vortex). I do not enjoy winter at all. I would rather have summer all year round than have winter (yet I live in Chicago – this will be fixed soon).
    2. Having too many options is a problem. The beauty about online dating is the vast array of potential soul mates. You have all these men on all these websites (there are plenty of dating websites and I had more than one site) all available with a simple message. All you do is show your interest, and if it’s mutual, baaam! You start talking and where that leads is up to the both of you.
    3. The problem with so many options is that you might have the potential love of your life in front of you and you would pass them up because, options! You want to see if you can do better. There’s more out there, just waiting for you to respond to a text, to swipe right, to wink back etc. So, as much as you are “talking” to this potential, you decide to talk to another one and another and another. And in the process lose some. It doesn’t seem to end.
    It could be as easy as “I am attracted to you, we should meet up.”  Meet up, if the chemistry and attraction is there in person, start talking. In the mean time, pause or delete your profiles and concentrate on building something with your current potential. And if you put in the time, effort and work and it doesn’t work out – Guess what? You can go back to your profiles and start another search. It’s that simple.
    If you do not consciously unplug as you talk to someone, chances are you will only give that person 50 per cent or less of your attention. At which point you are selling yourself short.
    4. I have met a few people in person and I must say it has been an interesting, entertaining journey. I recommend NOT going out to eat the first time you are meeting someone. It’s awkward at best and uncomfortable at worst. And you spend more time with the person than necessary especially if you want to bail within five minutes of meeting. Agreeing to go out to eat limits your fleeing chances. So you are forced to make conversation as you wait for your food to come, force more conversation as you eat and then be polite and stay an extra five minutes after thee meal is done. This is enough to cause indigestion!!
    Instead of a meal, go out for drinks or coffee. It doesn’t take that long and you can legit bail within five minutes of meeting (it’s not mean at all, I promise). It will save you both the struggles of awkwardness and discomfort and the not so needed stress.
    5. People SELL themselves on an online profile. Not everything on the profile is true. Some people are basically living vicariously through the adventures they spin on their profiles. In real life, chances are they have not done a single thing listed on the profile; the career they claim to have is but a pipe dream. If you are lucky, their grammar is pretty good. But that’s only if you are lucky.

I do not get why one would lie about who they are, what they do, their likes and dislikes etc as they search for their life partner. Like are all those things you said you are going to magically become reality when you find that one person you feel is the one? What happens when a girl decides she likes you based on what she read and saw on your profile and you start talking, and oh I don’t know, have to physically meet up!? What do you do then, you who used your cousins’ picture as your profile picture? You who claimed to be a big deal consultant but in reality you basically work security at Wal-Mart? (Aint nothing wrong with working security at Wal-Mart, just be bloody honest about it! She might have a thing for security guys, you don’t know (insert side eye).

So, I shut down my online escapades. For now anyway. I am trying to look up at the world instead of downcast on my phone. And what better way than to shut down all those apps that keeps me down cast?

K.C

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About KayCee

The About Me section is always the hardest part for me to do. I never seem to know how to fill it in but I will try. Here goes; I am a fun loving person who also happens to be somewhat anti-social. This is not deliberate, I just lack social skills. Anyway, I love to write about pretty much anything but I have dedicated this page to talking about my life with hyperhidrosis and how it affects the most mundane tasks. I love laughing. It can be annoying because people think I don't take them seriously when I laugh but I do. Laughter works as defense mechanism when I feel cornered or just cannot give an answer right away. Or when I really feel the need to laugh :) I am usually quiet til I know you. A bit of a cynic but I always try to see the good in people. I still believe in humanity at the same time wondering if we will make it. I am a walking contradiction apparently. And that is it about me. Happy reading! :)
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7 Responses to Operation ShutDown

  1. As soon as I decided to shut down all three of my online profiles ( I was kinda addicted lol) I found someone and have been with him for 9 months, compared to my longest before that being 3 months, so I think I’m doing pretty good! haha Wish you all the luck whether you find someone or decide your happy by yourself!

    • KayCee says:

      Lol it is pretty funny how that works out. I was totally addicted too. I had more than three profiles! And I realized I was meeting with people but still actively seeking something more. Which more, I dont know. So instead of being online, maybe I should be more present in the world and something better will happen 🙂
      And I am happy to hear you are in a relationship after shutting down your profiles. There IS hope after all 🙂
      K.C

      • I always think that is a great thing to do. Shutting down electronics and doing things in the real world is great. Plus, so many weird guys I would meet online lol One sight I did love though is meetup.com I think. Not sure if they have it where you are at, but its not a dating site. Just a sight to connect with groups of people and you go do things you have in common with all sorts of people.

      • I always think that is a great thing to do. Shutting down electronics and doing things in the real world is great. Plus, there were so many weird guys I would meet online lol One sight I did love though is meetup.com I think. Not sure if they have it where you are at, but its not a dating site. Just a sight to connect with groups of people and you go do things you have in common with all sorts of people.

  2. cc solomon says:

    I write about online dating in my blog. I agree with the meeting for drinks/coffee first. I think the key is if your heart is not into online dating and you aren’t having fun then going off it for a while at least is a good idea. I did that a lot. I’m in an area where people just prefer to meet online (DC) no one looks up. It’s sad really but I don’t know anyone out here who has met in real life anymore. SMH

    • KayCee says:

      I really wanna move to DC!! I am currently actively seeking employment there. Hopefully I get something 🙂
      Its sad about people never really looking up and choosing to meet people online. We miss out on a lot when we do that. I will definitely check out your blog since I enjoy reading other people’s online dating escapades. Its quite entertaining actually when it isn’t being annoying (online dating that is)
      K.C

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