“When My Doc Tells Me To Sleep With Two Men”

Yes, you read that right. Below is a conversation I had some time last year with my gynecologist.

Doc: “Are you sexually active?”

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Me: “Ummmm (why do I always feel like this is a trick question?) *scratches head* Yes”.

Doc: “Do you use protection?”

Me: “Yes.” *In my mind I am wondering what next; she seems to be all up in my business. For some reason, I am uneasy and start to get defensive for no apparent reason.*

Doc: “How many sexual partners do you have?

Me: (*Ummm what do I look like to you, a nymphomaniac?*) One.

Doc: “So you use protection every time?”

Me: *Define every time because I think that one time we started without it and then remembered… “Yes.”

Doc: “Do you want to get pregnant?”

Me: “NO.” (Insert indignant look here).

Doc: “Do you want to get on birth control?”

Me: “NO.”

Doc: “Have you ever used birth control before?”

Me: “NO.”

Doc: “And you don’t want to get pregnant?”

Me: *That’s pretty much what I said the first time you asked me. That’s not going to change now* “RIGHT.”

Doc: “That’s a dangerous game u’re playing. Do you always use protection?”

Me: “Ummmm.YES.” (Well that escalated quickly).

Doc: “Don’t lie to me.”

Me: “But IM NOT LYING.”

Well, technically I wasn’t lying. Since I had a new partner, I never had sex with him without protection. Ever. I had slipped up once before him but since he came along, it’s been condoms all the way. Well, except that one time we started without it but had it on during so it really doesn’t count. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight? I thought so.

I have nothing against birth control pills but I refused to take them. Not for any religious reasons or anything along those lines. It was mainly because I do not like to take medicine orally. And I didn’t trust any of the other kinds of birth control.

The pills are a big deal for me. Aside from the weight gain that’s usually associated with these pills, I didn’t want any of the side effects. Therefore I decided I would go the condom way. And consistently use them at the right time, thus protecting myself against STIs. Just in case. You never know.

But I was “forced” to get on them. See, for the last six months, I have been experiencing excruciating pain in my abdomen, from the belly button going down during sexual intercourse. The pain kept getting worse and six months down the line, I sought help. And since the doctors couldn’t figure out the cause of the pain, I was put on birth control pills. “Take them for three months and see what happens,” they said.

At the time, my gynecologist wondered out loud if I wasn’t sleeping with gigantaur. Basically, my eyes popped out of my sockets for a second. I realized he was serious and responded with a weak nooo, and silently adding an ‘I hope not’.

Good ole doc suggested I sleep with someone else too just to rule out current sex partner as source of pain due to extra large manhood.

I just sat there with my mouth open like oh.

blacknarcissus-indignant

###

K.C

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About KayCee

The About Me section is always the hardest part for me to do. I never seem to know how to fill it in but I will try. Here goes; I am a fun loving person who also happens to be somewhat anti-social. This is not deliberate, I just lack social skills. Anyway, I love to write about pretty much anything but I have dedicated this page to talking about my life with hyperhidrosis and how it affects the most mundane tasks. I love laughing. It can be annoying because people think I don't take them seriously when I laugh but I do. Laughter works as defense mechanism when I feel cornered or just cannot give an answer right away. Or when I really feel the need to laugh :) I am usually quiet til I know you. A bit of a cynic but I always try to see the good in people. I still believe in humanity at the same time wondering if we will make it. I am a walking contradiction apparently. And that is it about me. Happy reading! :)
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2 Responses to “When My Doc Tells Me To Sleep With Two Men”

  1. virgobeauty says:

    Tehehehe. Now that is a delight. Gigantaur lol…they are awesome. (crawls back into cave with blushing face). this experience is priceless. wow.

    • KayCee says:

      Lol it was a pretty awkward encounter considering I was being prodded in my woman parts and talking about gigantaur (hides face) lol

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