Driving down Golf Rd to church this morning, it hit me that this is my last drive to church and I started tearing up. If you know me, you will know that I am a hardcore G and don’t cry (I cried my eyes dry when I was a baby).
I had to talk the tears back real quick saying, “Hey you can’t ruin this makeup, not this early in the game. you have to stay slayed for Easter.” And that’s how I managed to talk myself out of bawling like a baby and got to church and service went on smoothly.
It was after that I started saying my goodbyes. Most people thought I leave next week, and others don’t even know I am leaving.
I didn’t make the big announcement this time around. My pastor thought my last Sunday is next week Sunday so he didn’t make the usual big announcement in church which saved me from a lot of tears(not mine of course since I don’t cry. Stealthily done. I know I will get a few angry/hurt calls for this.
I didn’t think it would be this painful to leave but it was. I actually made some great friendships and I am sad to leave some people. Goodbyes are so hard. Some really did break my heart but I hope we can continue being friends through the distance.
I have been able to maintain some friendships through long distance and i hope I am to do so with some of these. I do not care for some and will not devote a thought to them but there are some I will work at maintain and hopefully its a two way thing.
Leaving is a bittersweet experience for me because I am going back home to family while I leave some of my family here. Friends and family alike await me back home as I leave some here.
Life must go on through the pain and while I will miss this part of my life, a new experience awaits me. New opportunities and new lessons, new smiles, new hurts and new friendships.
Who knows, I may wind up here in Chicago in a few years. Until then, live your life, live your truth and enjoy it. I was always quick to say I want to leave Chicago because of the weather but once the time came to make the decision, it was not as easy.
But it was finally made, and life must go on and be lived. Life is all about change. It is what we do with this change that makes all the difference.
I leave this Wednesday and I am both excited and sad. Bittersweet.