Hey tall, dark and handsome,
I hope you are well. We met at the mechanics about a week ago and we had a moment. An “I find you attractive moment and maybe…” That’s the best description I have for it. I told my friend about it and she thinks I shut it down. Because of my awkwardness and lack of social skills. See, when you walked in the room, you were nice. I was seated, face buried in the book I was reading. You greeted me and I looked up and my heart stopped (just kidding). I was like nice! In my mind of course. And I greeted you back and went back to the book because I have no behavior 😁. Of course I kept checking you out, out of the corner of my eye as I pretended to read (I forgot to turn the page to make it look like I was still reading-I have zero chill, I know).
Then you complimented my shoes and I of course, screeched thank you and fiddled with my feet. Because that’s how I act when complimented. I don’t know how to take a compliment. I feel overwhelmed by it or something. So back to the book it was. You completed your transaction with the mechanic and bid me good day and I you and that’s how you left and I kicked myself. Not that it did any good since you left already.
So, in case we were on the same page (I’m really hoping the moment wasn’t in my head), it’s not that I was shutting you down, I just don’t know how to act in real life.
I’m great behind a screen. In fact I’m awesome behind a screen! But when faced with real life, I cower into this shell that renders me awkward, shy and plain old anti social. Which I’m not. Well, I am. Sometimes. Should I be saying this? Probably not. But anyway, the point of this is to say, there was a moment that I unconsciously shut down. And this wasn’t my intention. Not at all. Maybe our paths will cross again one day. Maybe not. The point is I am always told I shut down guys but honestly, half the time I don’t even realize someone is hitting on me. I am clueless like that. I have been accused several times over the years but I seem to not pick up this skill of deciphering when you’re being subtly hit on. I’m one of those you need to hit the nail on the head with. And hard. Otherwise, I am as clueless as they come.
I wrote this some time last year but my procrastination game was too strong so I am only just posting it now as I work on my draft folder. Side note, my former mechanic (I left him in the U.S) seemed to attract attractive clientele. I met someone I had a fling with there too lol. He did not do subtle, just came right out and told me he foudn me attractive and wanted to “talk”. Let’s just say I met some ‘interesting’ people at my mechanics. And I was there a lot, they always teased me about working there. I hope my new mechanic has this voodoo that attracts attractive people there so I am not so bored LOL.