When Darkness Beckons…

The light is gone from my eyes

Within their  depths  lies sorrow, an overwhelming sadness

I try to laugh but the sound is empty and hollow

Wish as I might, I can’t get out of this pit of darkness

It envelopes me, fitting snugly like a glove

I eat not, drink but a drop

My bed calls for me but sleep eludes me

I lay on my back and stare into nothing

A million thoughts running through my mind

I can barely focus and don’t understand a single thought

It seems they collide into each at the speed of lightening, eventually exploding into stars

I fill the bath in hopes of relief, the full tub inviting

I sink into the water, letting it cover me full length

Finally, some peace settles over me

I let my body go limp and sink further into the water

I close my eyes and hold my breath letting the water over my face

I do not struggle

Instead I give in and let darkness comfort me

My lungs struggle, begging for air

My brain tells me I need oxygen

My sadness tells me I don’t

The darkness wins, providing me with comfort and I happily lean into it

A harsh knock on the door startles me and the spell is broken

Frantically lifting my head and drawing in a breath, I am back from that inviting place

The darkness pulls away, waving goodbye

I get out of the water, sadness creeping back in where it had been kicked out

I long for my friend darkness; I miss its acceptance, its embrace for I feel no pain within that embrace

Alas my friend, I will miss you

One day, maybe we will be reunited and for that day, I long.

KC

 

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About KayCee

The About Me section is always the hardest part for me to do. I never seem to know how to fill it in but I will try. Here goes; I am a fun loving person who also happens to be somewhat anti-social. This is not deliberate, I just lack social skills. Anyway, I love to write about pretty much anything but I have dedicated this page to talking about my life with hyperhidrosis and how it affects the most mundane tasks. I love laughing. It can be annoying because people think I don't take them seriously when I laugh but I do. Laughter works as defense mechanism when I feel cornered or just cannot give an answer right away. Or when I really feel the need to laugh :) I am usually quiet til I know you. A bit of a cynic but I always try to see the good in people. I still believe in humanity at the same time wondering if we will make it. I am a walking contradiction apparently. And that is it about me. Happy reading! :)
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