5 Things I Have Come To Accept About Myself

  1. I am a stubborn human being. I have been called stubborn from the time I could talk. I choose to believe it’s not being stubborn, more like wanting to learn, soldiering on and sometimes doing things my way. If you really think about it, I am not stubborn at all, just curious which may/is interpreted by others as stubborn. So yeah, stubborn human being.
  2. I am blunt. Which others interpret as rude. I don’t think I am rude. And if I am, I don’t intentionally do it, I happen to utter what goes on in my head. I’ve been told normal people don’t. They think of other ways to say things whereas I just say it as I see it. I am trying to be more aware of how bluntness hurts people. I am a work in progress. I am always of the notion ‘why go around in circles when you can say it point blank. But there’s this thing called feelings, or so I’m learning.
  3. I am socially awkward. I don’t know how to strike up conversations with people I don’t know. Sometimes even with people I know. Maybe after a drink or two I could try but history tells me that doesn’t work either. Most people find this type of behavior anti-social. But I really just don’t know how to socialize. I am like a fish out of water in a social set-up where I don’t know anyone. I’m that person that will cling to you if you take me out and we’re in a place where you’re the only one I know. You’re my lifeline so I am not letting go. And if I do let go, my phone becomes my lifeline.
  4. I am emotionally messed up. I can’t even begin to explain that because even I don’t understand it myself. I have been in a total of four relationships and not once did I fall in love with the person I was with. I have flirted with others but never seem to be emotionally attached to anyone. I have a theory as to why this is but it’s a work in progress as well. Until I figure it out, I guess this trend continues. Or until someone finds that switch that was turned off. There’s that. I do love my friends and family though. I know how to love when it isn’t romantic. Go figure.
  5. I am a loner. There is nothing I enjoy more than spending time by myself doing nothing. Even when invited out, I’d rather be home doing of course nothing. Just left in my head. I suppose this isn’t healthy. I tried being social last year and it was quite interesting and fun. Also, it was very draining. Not because our activities were vigorous or anything but spending so much time around people tends to drain me physically and mentally. This is not to say I don’t enjoy hanging out with other people because I do. When I am ready. And when I want to.

There you have it, five things I am willing to share about me that I have come to accept and learning to love about myself. Maybe if I acknowledge them, accept and love them, I may be able to change some of them. MAYBE. Don’t hold your breath though. I don’t want to be responsible for someone’s accidental death.

KC

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About KayCee

The About Me section is always the hardest part for me to do. I never seem to know how to fill it in but I will try. Here goes; I am a fun loving person who also happens to be somewhat anti-social. This is not deliberate, I just lack social skills. Anyway, I love to write about pretty much anything but I have dedicated this page to talking about my life with hyperhidrosis and how it affects the most mundane tasks. I love laughing. It can be annoying because people think I don't take them seriously when I laugh but I do. Laughter works as defense mechanism when I feel cornered or just cannot give an answer right away. Or when I really feel the need to laugh :) I am usually quiet til I know you. A bit of a cynic but I always try to see the good in people. I still believe in humanity at the same time wondering if we will make it. I am a walking contradiction apparently. And that is it about me. Happy reading! :)
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6 Responses to 5 Things I Have Come To Accept About Myself

  1. We have the odd numbers in common.

  2. KayCee says:

    Glad to know I’m not alone 😊 lol

  3. D'Dream says:

    some things about you strike a cord except the blunt part.

    thanks for sharing

  4. Nedoux says:

    Hi KayCee,

    It was very nice reading this, got to know you better. 🙂

    Re: “I am a loner”, it reminded me of a profound article that I read recently. The writer explained her enjoyment of solitude, explaining this preference to dwell inwards in a manner that somewhat romanticised loneliness. Alas, what described her personality more accurately was “Aloneness” rather than loneliness.

    I enjoy solitude too, as I really enjoy my own company. I live inside my head quite a bit, I blame the whirlwind of words within for this. Lol

    I agree with you, self-acceptance is the beginning of self-love and self-validation.

    Cheers!

    PS: Here’s the piece I mentioned- https://catapult.co/stories/the-fierce-triumph-of-loneliness

    • KayCee says:

      Hey Nedoux,
      Thanks for reading! I too live in my head, I have been told its quite annoying. I don’t know why lol
      And thanks for the article, I will get to it now. Looking forward to it. Always great to meet like minded people or just those that understand me.
      Cheers!

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